Again, from Stephen Covey’s “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” the alternative to Win-Lose, is called Win-Win, where;
“Win-Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions.”
Theoretically, if we could simply change our mindset from Win-Lose to Win-Win, then everything would be wonderful right? But despite a few successful examples in the lives of exemplary people in history, humankind has never been able to maintain a Win-Win mindset in any sustained way.
Thousands of years ago, man learned to cooperate with others in hunting for food, warding off saber tooth tigers and marauding groups etc. But history tells us that this cooperation rarely lasted. The same is true today.
True human nature wants to give and to share, but because of our lack of experience living with a Win-Win mindset we allow the shadow of human nature to work against us. The desire to have and to get, is normal, but then to satisfy our desires we unconsciously compare and compete, and after we obtain the object of our desire we don’t share.
When the losers pursue their desires one of which is to have the same as what the winners enjoy. Winners always resist this natural desire in others, fearing that if they allow those with less, to have more, there will be less for themselves. This is the concept of scarcity in action.
Since our whole environment, (family, school, work, institutions, education, politics ) have become infected with the paradigm of scarcity, we create layers of so called “scientific” truth, like survival of the fittest, to justify our actions until even the universe and life itself is seen as a-moral.
Gradually over time, society becomes divided between the winners (the leader, chief, king, emperor, ruling class, the political elite ) and the losers which eventually leads to disintegration.
The sad reality is that the Win-Lose mentality resides within each one of us, so even when we make a determined effort to act for mutual benefit, the subtle consequences of Win-Lose undermine the trust in the relationship. Then we rationalize and blame the other person for upsetting the order of society and proceed to harden our Win-Lose views.
In order to make Win-Win work we need more than a simple definition to do the right thing, we must also change our view of life from one that is a-moral to one that is ethical and actually experience benefit from living it.
To do this we need to educate ourselves with what is called Win-Win with synergy.
More about this in the section entitled About Synergy.